Scam
by Takato the dreamer
Summary: NOT MEANT TO OFFEND ANYONE! after seeing an add for a drug only proven in hetero couples Tai comes up with a pill for only homosexual men.... birth control?
1. Chapter 1

Okay guys... I made this story out of COMPLEATE fun. I do not mean to offend ANYONE, but if i do, this is probably the one story i will accept flames for. I was watching TV today and i saw the comercial Tai saw, and I just got this idea from it. If you guys like it, I will continue. And one one last thing before the formal disclamer: The 3 story descriptions I used, I made off the top of my head, if it sounds like a story you have or have read, i apologize, and I swear it was coincidence. AND, if you like the idea of any of those 3, feel free to take it as a plot bunny and use it as you will.

DISCLAMER: I dont own Digimon, Fullmetal Alch, Naruto, Or Hikaru No Go! Or.. Fanfiction . Net... should i add that in there??

x x x x x x x

After school one day, four male digidestend were gathered at one house. Tai was watching TV with his boyfriend Matt, While boyfriends Izzy and Joe were surfing the net. Tai was half paying attention to the commercials when he saw an add for a medicine to help stop Herpes outbreaks. Tai was just about to say something, when he saw in small letters at the bottom of the screen, "Only proven in Heterosexual couples." Tai went off.

"You see that guys? There saying were not good enough for their product!"

Matt looked at Tai nervously.

"NOT THAT I NEED IT..." Tai continued. Matt sighed in relief.

"It just ticks me off that they are still treating us like this!"

"Or," Joe said suddenly, "Maybe it just HASENT been proven?"

"Ha. Okay Doctor, i thought you were on our side here?"

Joe shook his head. "If that is what it is, then thats one thing, but we DONT know! Anyway I have to be going."

Joe gave Izzy a kiss goodbye and left for class.

Suddenly Matt got an idea.

"What we should do... Is make a medicine thats ONLY FOR homosexual couples!"

Tai laughed. "That would be cool. We would be rich! Any ideas Izzy?"

Izzy looked up from the computer. "Actually... come look at the screen."

Izzy was on a web site called Fanfiction . Net.

"Oh ive been here!" Tai said.

Izzy laughed. "You? READ?!"

Tai smaked him playfully.

"Seriously what does this have to do with anything?"

"Well, just look for yourself! Here lets go into the 'Naruto' section."

And there, first story on the list had the following description:

"After years of living together, Naruto desides to have Sasuke's baby... but is he ready to be a mother?"

Tai's jaw dropped.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Izzy giggled and then nodded. "I agree. Somehow people seem to think men can become pregnant. Here, Lets go into the 'Fullmetal' section."

And there first on the list was this:

"Roy tells Ed he has a way to get Al's body back, but to do it, Ed must first agree to carry Roy's child."

Tai was on the floor with disbelief

"Are you kidding me?!"

Izzy shook his head. "And now lets go to the 'Hikaru No Go' section."

And there at the top of the page was this:

"It all comes down to this. Akira and Toya are going to have a baby. But which one? The ultimate Go battle, and the loser carries the baby!"

Tai was so disgusted he thought he was going to puke. Matt wasn't far behind.

"And now we..." Matt cut him off.

"NOW NOTHING! Just tell us your plan!"

Izzy nodded.

"Okay... What if we got sugar pills, and said they were birth control for male homosexual's?" 

Tai and Matt blinked.

"Uh.. we can't have kids!"

Izzy pointed to the site where he saw it was now in Yu Yu Hakusho. He dident even want to know the deal Yusuke had to make with Koenma...

"Apparently," Izzy said, "There are a lot of people who think they can. And if their dumb enough to believe that, why not make a few bucks off it?"

Tai Jumped up in the air.

"IT'S GENIOUS! LETS DO IT!"

"Okay, we will talk to Joe when he gets home!"

x x x x x x

Okay, tell me what you think. If it sucks, I'm done. Its up to you.

Review


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, this is the second and last chapter. I hope everyone thinks this is funny. AS SOON as i post this im going to work on my other two fics but i had to finish this first, i hope you enjoy!

P.S. The ending will only be funny if you have seen/read "Yakitate!! Japan!"

x x x x x x x

When Joe got home that night, the other three boys sat down to talk about what they had came up with.

"What do you think Joe?" Izzy asked, Joe was sweating.

"You guys are CRAZY! How can you possibly think of selling something like this?!"

Izzy shook his head. "It's not the stupidest thing ever. Like anti depressants with side effects of suicidal thoughts? Or how about sleep medicine with a side effect of insomnia?"

"But those are things that everyone deals with! No one has ever heard of Male pregnancy!"

Izzy then showed Joe the Fanfiction.

"SERIOUSLY? THERE ARE THAT MANY PEOPLE WHO THINK THIS COULD HAPPEN?!"

The three boys nodded. "Apparently so. I say we make this, we need the money Joe."

Tai looked at Izzy. "Whats going on? I didn't know you NEEDED money."

Izzy nodded sadly. "People found out Joe was gay and... they took away his scholarship."

"Your kidding me!" Tai yelled in anger, as Joe lowered his head.

Izzy started thinking. "I've got an idea how this could work, but all of us will work hard, is everyone in?"

Everyone nodded.

"Okay then, Tai, you will have the easiest job. You need to come up with a name for the pill. The rest of our jobs are going to be harder."

3 months later...

"I can't believe this! We actually get to try and get our product on the market!" Izzy said, as he looked at the others enter the court room. He looked at Matt. "Are you ready?"

Matt looked like he wanted to punch him.

"I hate you... but yes I'm ready."

"Matt you agreed remember?!"

"Yes... but I didn't know your Idea was THIS."

"All rise" The bailiff said to the court room. "Honorable Judge Genni presiding please rise."

The old judge walked in and sat behind the desk.

"So boys," The Judge said, "You want to sell male birth control? I assume you mean stop the production of semen right?"

"No your honor." Izzy said. "It is so that males won't get pregnant."

The judge nearly fell over. "MALES CANNOT GET PREGENENT!"

Izzy motioned to Matt, he came and took the microphone.

"Your honor, I'm pregnant."

There was an uproar in the courtroom.

"ORDER!" The judge said. "Can you prove this?"

"Yes. I can have any kind of test to prove it."

x x x x x x

They took Matt to the hospital, and sure enough, they found the hormone that tells your pregnant. They went back to the court, and the judge looked confused.

"I don't get it but... It's obvious somehow males CAN become pregnant, so... Stores will start selling the drug Immediately! What's it called?"

Tai stood up and smiled. "Protection Everlasting Nothing Is Safer. P.E.N.I.S."

"Okay, I'm going to go get me some P.E.N.I.S.! I don't want to end up pregnant!"

x x x x x x x x x x

The guys got home and had a big party.

"I can't believe it worked!"

Tai looked confused.

"But what exactly did you do again?"

"Well," Joe said, "I broke into the hospital and stole a bottle of the hormone that a woman releases when shes pregnant, and before the hearing, I gave it to Matt. Now they think he is pregnant."

"That's smart, but what happens when in Nine months there is no baby?"

"Heh. Matt, you want to tell Tai the news?"

Matt nodded and turned to Tai.

"Joe is going to do the 'Delivery' and... Your sister has agreed to be a serigt mother, She is going to have my baby.. of course it was artificially inseminated, but the point is, we will be in the same room, and we will just say it came out of me! We will have then fooled!"

x x x x x x x

Nine months later...

Their plan went off without a hitch. Kari had Matt's son, which he named Kazuma. P.E.N.I.S. Is the number one birth control in the world thanks to rabid fan girls who bought the pills for their boyfriends. Of course it doesn't do anything to them.

Tai and Matt are closer than ever, now 18, living in a mansion with Joe and Izzy. They made so much money off of their P.E.N.I.S. That they don't have to work. They just stay home all day and watch Kazuma, their little pride and joy. And now they live happily ever after...

16 years later...

"What kind of bread have you made now, Kazuma?" Matt asked.

"I believe it is the best ever made!" He said confidently. Matt looked skeptical.

"I'm afraid to eat it. I may have a reaction."

"Pleeeease? Daddy?"

Matt sighed. "Cheater."

Matt took a bite and... his body went crazy. Then his stomach started growing.

"YES! IT WORKED!" Kazuma said, "MY BREAD THAT WILL MAKE ANYONE PREGNANT!"

"DAMN YOU KAZUMA!!!!"

The End xD

Hope you liked it! Review!


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